middle of the bridge

"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed,

 yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken."

 - Isaiah 54:10

(Photo credit: Jessica Weber) 

It feels as though I am standing in the middle a bridge right now. A very long, and rickety suspension bridge. The kind built with wood planks and rope. And with each step I take, this bridge begins to wiggle and shake. It's so uncomfortable here. I can also picture my husband walking ahead... leading the way and intentionally rocking the bridge for fun. But, that is not my idea of fun. While he would be comfortable running full speed ahead, I hesitate with each step we take. But I'm learning and I am trying my best to be brave. 

I can see where I've come from and I can see where I'm going... I am both excited and apprehensive at the same time. It's difficult to have such conflicting emotions battling it out inside of me. This is a big step for our little family... Nay, a massive jump! While it feels as though it's taken forever to reach this moment... this moment is here and now and it feels overwhelming. It's been a whole lot of packing up, storing away, selling off and attempting to embrace the change with a gleaming and confident smile on my face as I try to suppress the anxiety creeping up.  There are so many conflicting emotions as we prepare for our big move across the Atlantic Ocean to a small rural town of red dirt, incredibly vibrant sunrises and beautiful people, in northern Uganda, Africa. 

Oh! How I love Africa. And oh! How my heart has ached for it. This feels like both a new and uncertain adventure and a long-awaited homecoming. A suspension bridge walk of joy and pain. A conflict of excitement and anxiety. Preparing for heart wrenching goodbyes and anticipated hellos! 

Cause I'm caught somewhere between two places. Well, three to be exact.

It's been said, "Home is where the heart is," but what if your heart is in two (or more) places? And saying goodbye to one, means welcoming the other with open arms. Will there always be this sense of loss and gain? 

And for me, it's in the middle of that rickety and uncomfortable suspension bridge. 

The "in between" wait.

With each step I take away from my life in North America, it brings me closer to a life in Uganda. Yep! It's a struggle to leave family, friends and a church community that has encouraged us along this journey. We have been so blessed. And as the goodbyes have already begun, and I put on my brave face - know that it holds both sheer and glorious excitement to walk out God's calling on our lives, but the cost weighs heavy on my heart. So, I'm going to take His hand and follow his footsteps. 

And I may cry. 

No, I will cry. I hate goodbyes. And most often I am not a fan of change and I'm not the best at being "joyfully flexible." But I am taking one step at a time, learning to be brave and following the leading of the Lord. It has been a lot of waiting... And now it's time to go! 

So, wherever you find yourself... On the bridge of uncertainty or you've reached the ground of safety, trust God in that place. And know that when it's uncomfortable, He is right there... Holding your hand and leading you along. It's in the absolutely uncomfortable places, where I feel God does the most work in our lives. It's a walk of trust. 

Though the mountains shake. 

Though your bridge may shake, his love will not.

Rest in him, no matter where you are at. After all, it's just part of the greater journey. And once you've crossed this bridge, you'll find yourself in the middle of another.